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12 Step One-Liners

Things you may have heard in a meeting

  • Service is like wetting your pants.  Everybody sees it, but you're the one who feels the warmth....

  • Minds are like parachutes----they won't work unless they're open...

  • Work the program from the waist up  

  • There are no atheists in foxholes  

  • When wallowing in your self-pity ...... get off the cross we need the wood  

  • Newcomer Excuses:   "I know... What if... Yeah but... If only.........  
  • AA is the highest priced club in the world. If You have paid the dues, why not enjoy the benefits
  • Poor me.....poor me............pour me another drink  

  • We're all here because we're not all there  

  • Active alcoholics don't have relationships; they take hostages  

  • AA won't keep you from going to hell, nor is it a ticket to heaven, but it will keep you sober long enough for you to make up your mind which way you want to go!  
  • All you need to start your own AA meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot!  
  • 12 Step Recovery didn't open the gates of heaven to let me in, it opened the gates of hell and let me out  

  • Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised

  • Some people are so successful in recovery that they turn out to be almost as good as they used to think they were when they were drinking

  • Alcoholism is an equal opportunity destroyer Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth

  • When all else fails.... umm! ....Follow directions  

  • When you do all the talking you only learn what you already know  

  • The person with the most sobriety at a meeting is the one who got up earliest that morning  

  • When wallowing in your self-pity ...... get off the cross we need the wood  
  • Active alcoholics don't have relationships; they take hostages  
  • AA has a wrench to fit every nut that walks through a meeting room door  
  • All you need to start your own AA meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot!  
  • ...lest problems of money, puberty, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.